Your Hard Choice Define Your Success

When it comes right down to it, almost everything is a choice. Every single minute, we have choices in life. This is both a great truth and a hard lesson because it reminds us of our own power. Not power over others, but the hidden, untapped power to be our best and live out our dreams.

We are born with the power to manifest our future. It isn’t fate that determines our future. Our future is determined by the choices we make, don’t make, or leave for others to make for us. If we don’t like the present we are living, we can create a new one – the power is ours.

Future success is not the result of just one monumental decision. It is the result of a continuous series of choices every day. Those choices don’t just impact the moment, they echo throughout our professional and personal lives.

Some may say that we don’t choose our circumstances. However, we have more power over circumstances than we care to admit. Even if circumstances are thrust upon us, we choose how we respond to them. Some of the most inspiring stories are of those who overcame and chose to become successful.

Do you often find yourself thinking “I want to be successful” yet feel like you’re working too hard to achieve it? Are you successful on paper yet feel unfulfilled in life? Do you often work hard to achieve your goals, and then wonder why you’re not happy once you successfully achieve them?

If this is you, you’re not alone. In my experience, many high-achieving professionals constantly hustle and push themselves only to find themselves successfully unhappy.

” Success Isn’t Just About Achievement.Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself. “

Most of us define success based purely on achieving something – and it’s often based on status and/or money.

I used to think success was about doing and having “it all” and by hustling through the tough times. Like many people, I figured that eventually I’d get to where I wanted to be and finally find happiness. But unfortunately, after hustling for several years and finding myself feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and incredibly unhappy, I realized that success wasn’t what I originally thought it was. Because, although others considered me “successful”, I didn’t feel it.

The truth is: you can work hard and amass all the money in the world, be the leading expert in your field, and be thought of as successful by others. . . yet feel empty inside. That’s not success.

Being successful means that you feel like a success. If you don’t feel successful, then you’re not. Success isn’t just about achievement. The key to success starts with how you define it and how you choose to live your version of success.

Please note: I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have goals or work hard for them. Instead, I’m telling you that you’ll never feel good about your success if you don’t set the right foundation, regardless of how hard you work.

It’s time to redefine what success means to you, in a way that serves you better.

Your choices won’t always guarantee you success, but they will open the door, and each choice you make after that opens the door just a little bit wider. Success will never walk in if you don’t open that door and put out the welcome mat. It’s your choice.

Whether you’re selling them as an entrepreneur, marketer, writer, or any other kind of knowledge worker, or facing a serious crossroads in your personal life, the choices you make today define your future.

So it’s no wonder that when it comes to our growth and success, few skills are more important than the ability to make good decisions.

As Nobel-prize winning economist Milton Friedman wrote: “The best measure of quality thinking is your ability to accurately predict the consequences of your ideas and subsequent actions.”

Far from being sources of agony and dread, hard choices are precious opportunities for us to celebrate what is special about the human condition, that the reasons that govern our choices as correct or incorrect sometimes run out, and it is here, in the space of hard choices, that we have the power to create reasons for ourselves to become the distinctive people that we are.

It’s impossible to know whether the choice you’re making is 100% right. Instead of feeling powerless, remember that your gut can be just as powerful a reason to make a choice as all the research, data, and opinions you’ve already gathered.

Trivial decisions like what shirt to wear or what brand of toothpaste to buy may be easy enough to make—though some of us spend hours on research to make those decisions. It’s the gray area problems that are the hardest to resolve—ones where despite all the research you’ve done and experts you’ve spoken to, the answer is still unclear. Problems where it’s up to you, your experiences, and that pesky gut feeling to decide what is the best course of action.

Questions like: Should I take this job? Should I move to [place]? Should I marry [person]? Should I tell so-and-so about such-and-such secrets? Pivotal questions that are difficult and risky to answer.

So how do you put yourself in the best position when faced with hard decisions?

Life is just playing by different rules.

“Unless you’re winning, most of life will seem hideously unfair to you.”

The real rules are there. They actually make sense. But they’re a bit more complicated, and a lot less comfortable, which is why most people never manage to learn them.

We’re all in competition, although we prefer not to realise it. Most achievements are only notable relative to others. You swam more miles, or danced better, or got more Facebook Likes than the average. Well done.

It’s a painful thing to believe, of course, which is why we’re constantly ensuring the opposite. “Just do your best”, we hear. “You’re only in competition with yourself”. The funny thing about platitudes like that is they’re designed to make you try harder anyway. If competition really didn’t matter, we’d tell struggling children to just give up.

Fortunately, we don’t live in a world where everyone has to kill each other to prosper. The blessing of modern civilization is there’s abundant opportunities, and enough for us all to get by, even if we don’t compete directly.

But never fall for the collective delusion that there’s not a competition going on. People dress up to win partners. They interview to win jobs. If you deny that competition exists, you’re just losing. Everything in demand is on a competitive scale. And the best is only available to those who are willing to truly fight for it.

We judge ourselves by our thoughts.

“I’m a good person”. “I’m ambitious”. “I’m better than this.” These idle impulses may comfort us at night, but they’re not how the world sees us. They’re not even how we see other people.

Well-meaning intentions don’t matter. An internal sense of honour and love and duty count for squat. What exactly can you and have you done for the world?

Abilities are not prized by their virtue. Whatever admiration society awards us, comes from the selfish perspectives of others. A hard working janitor is less rewarded by society than a ruthless stockbroker. A cancer researcher is rewarded less than a supermodel. Why? Because those abilities are rarer and impact more people.

We like to think that society rewards those who do the best work.

Write an unpublished book, you’re nobody. Write Harry Potter and the world wants to know you. Save a life, you’re a small-town hero, but cure cancer and you’re a legend. Unfortunately, the same rule applies to all talents, even unsavoury ones.

You may hate this. It may make you sick. Reality doesn’t care. You’re judged by what you have the ability to do, and the volume of people you can impact. If you don’t accept this, then the judgement of the world will seem very unfair indeed.

“Life is not meant to be fair. It never was, never is and will never always be fair, so now what?”

We suffer because of the idea that life was meant to be painless and things should go smoothly as it is. If life was so smooth, then we would all still be a dunce and still be using stones to start a fire or still wearing animal skins as clothes.

You don’t expect life to be fair to you because you are a good person or you work so hard. Life has its own rules, it’s complicated and not the same for everyone.

This life is so unfair that we are being brought to this life without our consent, and as well die without death asking for our permission before taking us away.

Life is a mixture of myriad torments and baffling situations that may even compel one unconsciously to erase off all the joyous occasions that they lived. Every moment in life is a bundle of unpredictable surprises, some good and some really tough.

“From the school to the workplace to community, there’s no statement more damning than “You’re being unfair!” Born out of democracy and raised in open markets, fairness has become our de facto modern creed in this modern life. “

Everyone here is a victim of life unfairness. I just wonder sometimes why things happen to some people and wish I could just lift my hands and make their problems go away. But the truth is, I am also a victim.

Sometimes, humans are livestock and fuel to make this life thrive with the way newborn babies come into our lives and the way we see the people we loved no more.

Have you ever wondered why people suffer? Why do people die? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does everyone around you seem to succeed and all you do is fail? Why don’t you always feel special? Why do people disappoint you? Why can’t you get the job/offer/position you want? Why do you have that serious illness?

Well, all these questions are questions I have asked myself and come with only one thing:
We suffer a lot because we only think about how life is unfair to us, ask a lot of whys, compare ourselves to others, we don’t want to accept it and just move on. Everyone in this life has a place they stand, orchestrated by the laws of the universe. You need to fight for yours. Don’t ever compare yourself.

As an adult, the moment you start dwelling in the thought that life should be fair to you, then it’s a thought distortion often called the cognitive distortion or Fallacy of Fairness. It basically means sometimes, we think life should always be perfect and fair to us in every way whereas it’s not. This often leads to depression because it’s basically against our belief system and our expectations.

“Life is unfair”, “No one can get everything he wants to get” and “You can’t succeed before you suffer” are some false beliefs that your mind might use as a decoy not to present you with the real facts.

If you tried once and failed then definitely you will discover that life is unfair. Life was not intended for those who try only once then give up but instead, it’s orchestrated for the determined and strong-minded people who keep trying until they get what they want.

You know, you can waste all of your energy and time stuck in that persistent thought on how life is unfair to you, or you can accept the fact that there’s no way life will thrive without being unfair to everyone in the universe.

So what do I/We/You do now?


You came and went as you pleased,
you didn’t think of how you’d hurt me.
You’d come back and apologize,
I was stupid enough to believe your lies.
I forgave you and let you back in,
but you took advantage of my forgiving nature,
into your trap you pulled me in.
Now I am forever changed,
it’s all because of you,
I trusted you with my heart,
but in the wind it blew.
You left me once again to always wonder why,
you never gave me an explanation,
your sincerity was all a lie.
You left me all alone, broken and afraid,
Now I’m forever condemned to hide myself away.
I have so many things, I want to say to you
Some nice, others mean, but at least I’d be true.
You left me here to cry alone at night,
I feel so worthless, it’s just not right.
You make me feel so many things,
hurt, anger, pain,
I feel so unlovable will I ever be whole again?
As it turns from light to dark
But me, I can’t go to sleep
I’m wide-awake weeping
Just the thought of when I lost you
Makes me oh so sad
I remember it like it was yesterday
I felt so horribly bad
Everything was fine
Well that was what I thought
I loved being around you
And all the happiness you brought
The connection between us was so easy to see
We were so close
It was like we could count as one
But then we split up
It was over we were done
Now I wish you would take me back
I guess what I want doesn’t matter anymore
To you it’s like whatever
It’s also so hard for me
To see you walking down the street
I start remembering so many memories
They’re so hard to defeat
Its like they come back to haunt me
Every once in a while
Every little thing about you
Even your beautiful smile
The thought makes me sad
It all makes me melt inside
These are the feelings that I feel for you
The ones I’ve been trying to hide
But I can no longer do it
It’s killing me so fast
I thought we had it good
But I guess it couldn’t last
I don’t know what went wrong
Maybe it was too good to be true
Not knowing makes me go insane
I don’t know what to do
It makes me burn up inside
I can’t fight it anymore
I try to build a wall
But it always finds a door
I can’t quite find the reason why
You left me anyway
I treated you so well
I was so sure you would stay
Now I can’t get you out of my head
Now I walk by myself
You left me all alone.

You were the reason behind all these.

It has been a month you are not here, we didn’t talk. I will never forget the way you called me and told me to do this. You can and trust my instincts. I will stay beside you even in the worst situation even at your death’ bed. I couldn’t meet you during your last days. We were in two different cities for the last 6 months but we were connected by phone calls. Now, I don’t have proper sleep at night. I’m still waiting for the phone call which you told me to do last night. With whom will I share my last bite of ice cream. It was you who bought me my prized zest of ice cream bars.You became the reason for which I started painting and writing again. You appreciated and figured out my small mistakes. I Just wanna ask you —



I never thought I’d have to live
A day without you near;
I never thought I’d see the day
When you would not be here.

A day without you seemed like
It’d be hell to feel;
But now that day has seen its light
And I need some time to heal.

That day turned to days,
And then to weeks and months.
And the wounds feel so blunt.

I never thought I’d have to live
A day without your touch,
But now you’ve gone and run away
And now I feel alone far too much.

A day without you is not right
Praying every day and every night
Right here on my room wishing we’re together.

Let me see you right here, right now
Just tell what me what to do, just tell me how
A day without you is not so fair.

Now its your picture that i always stare
I fell in love with you over and over again
Everyday i think about you, me and how we vibe
Feeling crazy about how we lived.

A day without you is hard to survive
Come here next to me because
I need you by my side
I will wait till tomorrow,
no matter how long.

A day without you is like
a night with no dreams
so it seems like the other days.

A day without you is like
a pen without an ink
nor even what I think
it doesn’t make a sense
because it cannot even write the words.

A day without you is like
a ruler without numbers
no matter what I measurer
I can’t even seem to find
the length of a distance.

A day without you is like
a dictionary without meanings
not even the alphabets
to count the pages.

A day without you is like
music without the lyrics
not even the beats.

A day without you is
like no day at all and it seems
like this day won’t ever
end because all I wish is to be there with YOU.

Finding Your ELEMENT

Remember back when you were a kid? You would just do things. You never thought to yourself, “What are the relative merits of learning baseball versus football?” You just ran around the playground and played baseball and football. You built sand castles and played tag and asked silly questions and looked for bugs and dug up grass and pretended you were a sewer monster.

Nobody told you to do it, you just did it. You were led merely by your curiosity and excitement.

And the beautiful thing was, if you hated baseball, you just stopped playing it. There was no guilt involved. There was no arguing or debate. You either liked it or you didn’t.

And if you loved looking for bugs, you just did that. There was no second-level analysis of, “Well, is looking for bugs really what I should be doing with my time as a child? Nobody else wants to look for bugs, does that mean there’s something wrong with me? How will looking for bugs affect my future prospects?”

There was no bullshit. If you liked something, you just did it.

Today, I received approximately the 504th email this year from a person telling me that they don’t know what to do with their life. And like all of the others, this person asked me if I had any ideas of what they could do, where they could start, where to “find their passion.”

And of course, I didn’t respond. Why? Because I have no fucking clue. If you don’t have any idea what to do with yourself, what makes you think some jackass with a website would? I’m a writer, not a fortune teller.

But more importantly, what I want to say to these people is this: that’s the whole point—”not knowing” is the whole fucking point.

” Life is all about not knowing, and then doing something anyway. All of life is like this. All of it. And it’s not going to get any easier just because you found out you love your job cleaning septic tanks, or you scored a dream gig writing indie movies.

The common complaint among a lot of these people is that they need to “find their passion.”

I call bullshit. You already found your passion, you’re just ignoring it. Seriously, you’re awake 16 hours a day, what the fuck do you do with your time? You’re doing something, obviously. You’re talking about something. There’s some topic or activity or idea that dominates a significant amount of your free time, your conversations, your web browsing, and it dominates them without you consciously pursuing it or looking for it.

It’s right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it. For whatever reason, you’re avoiding it. You’re telling yourself, “Oh well, yeah, I love comic books but that doesn’t count. You can’t make money with comic books.”

Fuck you, have you even tried?

The problem is not a lack of passion for something. The problem is productivity. The problem is perception. The problem is acceptance.

The problem is, “Oh, well that’s just not a realistic option,” or “Mom and Dad would kill me if I tried to do that, they say I should be a doctor,” or “That’s crazy, you can’t buy a BMW with the money you make doing that.”

The problem isn’t passion. It’s never a passion.

It’s priorities.

And even then, who says you need to make money doing what you love? Since when does everyone feel entitled to love every fucking second of their job? Really, what is so wrong with working an okay, normal job with some cool people you like and then pursuing your passion in your free time on the side? Has the world turned upside-down or is this suddenly a novel idea to people?

Look, here’s another slap in the face for you: every job sucks sometimes. There’s no such thing as some passionate activity that you will never get tired of, never get stressed over, never complain about. It doesn’t exist. I am living my dream job and I still hate about 30% of it. Some days more.

Again, that’s just life.

The issue here is, once again, expectations. If you think you’re supposed to be working 70-hour work weeks and sleeping in your office like Steve Jobs and loving every second of it, you’ve been watching too many shitty movies. If you think you’re supposed to wake up every single day dancing out of your pajamas because you get to go to work, then you’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid. Life doesn’t work like that. It’s just unrealistic. There’s a thing most of us need called balance.


I have a friend who, for the last three years, has been trying to build an online business selling whatever. It hasn’t been working. And by not working, I mean he’s not even launching anything. Despite years of “work” and saying he’s going to do this or that, nothing actually ever gets done.

And he does a great job! He stays up to 4:00 AM losing himself working on it and loving every second of it.

But then two days later it’s back to, “Man, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

I meet so many people like him. He doesn’t need to find his passion. His passion already found him. He’s just ignoring it. He just refuses to believe it’s viable. He is just afraid of giving it an honest-to-god try.

It’s like a nerdy kid walking onto a playground and saying, “Well, bugs are really cool, but NFL players make more money, so I should force myself to play football every day,” and then coming home and complaining that he doesn’t like recess.

And that’s bullshit. Everybody likes recess. The problem is that he’s arbitrarily choosing to limit himself based on some bullshitty ideas he got into his head about success and what he’s supposed to do.

Another email I get all the time is from people wanting advice on how to become a writer.

And my answer is the same: I have no fucking idea.

As a kid, I would write short stories in my room for fun. As a teenager, I would write music reviews and essays about bands I loved and then show them to nobody. Once the internet came around, I spent hours upon hours on forums writing multi-page posts about inane topics—everything from guitar pickups to the causes of the Iraq War.

I never considered writing as a potential career. I never even considered it a hobby or passion. To me, the things I wrote about were my passion: music, politics, philosophy. Writing was just something I did because I felt like it.

And when I had to go looking for a career I could fall in love with, I didn’t have to look far. In fact, I didn’t have to look at all. It chose me, in a way. It was already there. Already something I was doing every day, since I was a kid, without even thinking about it.

Because here’s another point that might make a few people salty: If you have to look for what you’re passionate about, then you’re probably not passionate about it at all.

If you’re passionate about something, it will already feel like such an ingrained part of your life that you will have to be reminded by people that it’s not normal, that other people aren’t like that.

It didn’t occur to me that writing 2,000-word posts on forums was something nobody else considered fun. It never occurred to my friend that designing a logo is something that most people don’t find easy or fun. To him, it’s so natural that he can’t even imagine it being otherwise. And that’s why it’s probably what he really should be doing.

A child does not walk onto a playground and say to herself, “How do I find fun?” She just goes and has fun.

If you have to look for what you enjoy in life, then you’re not going to enjoy anything.

And the real truth is that you already enjoy something. You already enjoy many things. You’re just choosing to ignore them

Miss YOU

My smile hides my tears.
My laugh hides my screams.
It’s been this way for days.
Things aren’t as they seem.

I always seem so happy.
With not a care in the world.
But you should know, sadly
Many things go untold.

Even in the crowd of people
I’m feeling so lonely,
It seems like everywhere is evil,
I’m falling in obscurity slowly.

I feel nothing,
I feel everything,
And that’s all in the same time,
And that’s how I feel it all the time.

I’m so tired of living,
I know I am nothing,
Who belong to no one,
Who doesn’t know how to have fun?

Here’s no place in the world for me,
And I even don’t know who I want to be,
No chasing for my future living,
I don’t have a thought about who I’m being.

I’m walking down at streets in the loneliness,
In awareness that I’m truly fucking mess,
Some people have a god bless,
But I’m cursed, I guess.

I’m wearing the eyeglasses and
the jacket with color of the darkest night,
The sky is middle of purple and blue,
It’s a little bit cold,
because the sun isn’t still bright as it might,
I try to think straight,
but I’m fucking crazy and have this clue.

Once again the sobbing of my heart,
drowns out thoughts of laughter.
And still the ache of loneliness tells,
there is no sign of what I am after.

Through ache of the soul and a pain,
deep in my damaged spirit’s broken core.
Everything I am and all of my being,
just longing for someone to adore.

There is someone for everyone,
I have heard people often say.
So why this dark lonely space,
my head can’t go away?

When you have love to give,
and there is no one there.
Until all your body can feel,
is darkness and empty despair.

How can you hang onto dreams,
or even make an effort to cope.
Abandoned by love and alone,
knowing each day there is no hope.

A pain so deep and this endless ache,
so much love to give it can’t be wrong.
Through hearts cry and souls pain,
Somehow I am meant to stay strong.

One Step AHEAD

As I sit here and wonder how
things would have turned out,
Not to have been part of your life
was there ever a doubt.
I would see you again,
i just didn’t know when.
A long time has passed,
wondering how you have been.
Just to see your face one last time is something I
never would have thought,
You have been on my mind all this time,
something that I had always and never forgot.
Life has its ups, and its downs
Seems like you are always fighting it all
And when you think you are one step ahead
You come across the pebble that makes you fall.
Forever looking at stars
Dreaming of ours
Futures unknown
Forever one step ahead
To our ten steps slow
Promises to never look back
To let the past be just that
Suppressing memories
Even those of a happy me
Happier than the one in the mirror some days
Sick of your ways
And your empty words
Of futures unknown
Forever one step ahead
To our ten steps slow
Promising to never look back
To let the past be just that
And I’m thinking of leaving you there
To satisfy the stranger in the mirror
To satisfy me
And my future unknown
Forever one step ahead
To my ten steps slow
I promise to never look back
To never repeat the bad
But to smile instead
At where I’ve been
And to stare at the clouds
To wish on stars
Letting go of ours
And focusing on mine
Dreams defined
My future still unknown
Only one step ahead
To my two steps slow
I’m catching up, not looking back
Keeping the past as just that
Learning to smile at possibilities
And me.


Without you, my nights are lonely.
Everything seems so empty.
Only with you I know I will be fine.
Moments with you are frozen in time.
When I’m with you,
I feel that nothing in the world can tear us apart.
I feel that when I’m without
I get left with a broken heart.
When I’m with you,
I feel that I will love you forever.
Without you, nothing lasts forever.

Me without you
is like a leafless fall,
a snowless winter,
and a flowerless spring.
is like a colorless rainbow,
a sunless day,
and a starless night.
is like the ocean without a wave,
the beach without sand,
and a flameless fire.
is like a book without words,
a man without a face,
and a child with no name.

I can’t get you out of my mind
In my dreams,
I think about you
There are days when I can’t go on
The thought of wanting you is strong
You make my heart want so much
I cry in my sleep,
because I’m not enough

There’s nothing I can do,
to shake the blues
If only I was enough,
if only I could show you
How serious I am,
when it comes down to you
Never have I wanted anyone so much more
Until the day I saw you,
then it was for sure

So, I am sitting here,
writing this poem to you,
because right now it is all I can do.
I write all these poems from what I feel,
all these feelings I have are too real.

You were the only person I looked up to,
For everything that I wanted to do.
But now you are gone,
And I just can’t move on.

All the things I learned from you,
are the things I want to do.
But I can’t because without you
I’m not good enough,
I’m not confident, or tough.

I want to be there by your side,
with you for the rest of my life.
I want to be in your arms,
where I could never be harmed.

And you were too young to die,
I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

If I would spend my life without you
I don’t know how it would be
I would be lost and confused
My life would have no direction.

8th May, 2021

I can’t capture the memories spend with you. I can’t our express friendship in words. You were really special. I will always keep a blank frame for our memories.

कभी लगा भी था सही में लाइफ बस दो दिन की होती है।।।।।

कभी लगा नही था जो फैमिली ना होकर ,
अपना सा होगा ,
जिसके एक मैसेज का पूरा दिन इंतजार करते थे ,
अब उसकी मैसेज कभी नही आयेगा।

कब हमारी दोस्ती हुई ,
शायद उसको याद भी नही होगा ,
कब हम इसे हो गए पता नही चला ।।

मुझे तो आज भी वो 11 साल पुरानी लड़ाई याद है
और जब तू कुछ दिनों के लिए छुट्टी पे गया था ,
हमारी दोस्ती कब दोस्ती से जायदा हो गई
ना तुझे पता चला ना मुझे ।।।

स्कूल के दिनों में तू होता था ,
जो जितने भी लड़ाई होने पे मुझे मानता था,
बिना बोले मेरा लंच खा लेता था ।
बिना मेरे बोले समझ जाता था ,
की आज तो मेरा मन ठीक नही,
वो तू था जो मेरे बिना बोले समझ जाता था
तू उस दिन कुछ न कुछ ऐसा करता था
जिससे मेरी हंसी वापस आ जाए।।

सब कितना अच्छा था ना ,
फिर बोलते है ना हमेशा किसी के अच्छा नही होता ,
कुछ कारण हमारी दोस्ती टूटी तो नही पर वैसी नही रही,
मैंने ही स्कूल छोरा था ,
तू तो वही था ,
मेरा रोज स्कूल की बस में इंतजार करते हुए।

कुछ दूरियां आई ,
तो हमारी दोस्ती वैसी नही रही,
उस टाइम Whatsapp, Facebook ,
Instagram, Snapchat नही था ना,
बातें रोज होनी बंद हो गई,
पर तूने मेरी जगह कभी किसी को नही दी,
हम मिलते थे ना शाम को
कभी कभी , या कभी उसके बर्थडे या मेरे।
तुझे मैंने कभी अपना बेस्ट फ्रेंड तो नही बोला
पर तू उससे कभी कम भी नही था ।।
उस टाइम सोशल मीडिया तो नही था
पर था तो विश्वास की कभी ये फ्रेंडशिप नही टूटयेगी।
और तूने कभी टूटने भी नही दिया ।।

आज तुझे गए हुए दो दिन होने को है
पर कही नह कही मुझे आज भी तेरे मैसेज का इंतज़ार है
बस इतना मैसेज , या एक इमोजी का,
आज मेरे फोन पे 100 नोटिफिकेशन है
पर तेरे ही मैसेज का इंतजार है
और शायद हमेशा रहएगा ।।

आज सुबह से बहुत लोगो ने बोला
पर तू बोल क्या मैं तुझे बुल पाऊंगी ??
तुझे तो आज 1400 किलोमीटर दूर हो कर
याद होता था , की मैंने अपनी दवाई ली है या नही,
तेरे दिन के तीन मैसेज का हमेशा इंतजार रहयेगा
तू वो था जो मेरे से बस साल में दो बार मिलता था ,
कितने वीकेंड होते थे और कितने दिन
जब हम बात नही करते थे पर पता होता था ,
तुम हो, और रहेगा, बस टाइम नही था आज बात करने का ।

तेरी एक मैसेज से मेरी चेहरे पे मुश्कुराहट आ जाती है
अब आ पाएगी क्या ??
मुझे अब रात के 3 बजे मिठाई खाने से मना कौन करेगा ?
में जब लाइफ में किसी डिफिकल्ट पॉइंट पे रहूंगी
तो कौन बोलेगा YAAR, THINK POSITIVE ,
अभी आगे बहुत कुछ है जो तेरा इंतज़ार कर रही है ।

मैंने कभी बोला नही,
पर आज बोल रही हु
तूने बहुत कुछ किया था ,
तूने मुझे ज़िंदगी जीने का एक नया तरीका सिखाया है ,
मेरे उस टैलेंट को सबके सामने में मददत किया
जो मैंने कभी सोचा नहीं था ।

तू अब नही है, शायद इसको मानने में
मेरे कितने महीने बीत जाए,
पर तू मेरे दिल में हमेशा रहेगा ,
तेरी जगह कोई नही ले पाएगा कभी ।।।।
बहुत कुछ रह गई जो मैंने तुझे नही बताया,
वक्त ही नही मिला की तुझे रोक पाऊं ,
तेरी को आखरी कॉल का बोला हुआ
कभी नही भूल पाऊंगी,
यही बोले थे ना , उसका इंतजार हमेशा रहेगा ।

बस तू दिल मैं रहेगा , और हां तूने बोला था ना , तेरा नेक्स्ट बुक मेरे बर्थडे पे आना चाहिए , अब जरूर आएगा और आई प्रोमिस , तुझे दिया सारा प्रोमोज पूरा करूंगी ,
कभी दवाई लेना नही बोलूंगी और हमेशा आगे का सोचूंगी ।।।



Am I happy as a CODER?

Code is more than just ones and zeroes. Code is a creative process that lets you express yourself, reach other people, generate art, and make stuff in new ways every day.

Before I go further, if you choose to classify yourself, don’t think I’m saying one is better than another. Programmer and Coder are two different things. But they do have an interdependent connection.

Me? I am a programmer.

I can’t say, “I am a programmer, not a coder”, however. Why? One is a subset of the other.

It’s complicated, but there does seem to be some evidence that the more negative a person feels, the better their problem-solving performance is. Feeling bad, however, has a detrimental effect on productivity and motivation, while good emotions push you forward and make you slightly more creative. Way to go? Flow and more research.

The room is dim and silent. The person sitting at the desk is only visible because of the faint light given off by a couple of large screens. Half-empty mugs are uninterested witnesses of the creative process. Behold—a programmer at work.

However magical feats of software programming may seem, especially to a layperson’s eye, programming, just like creative writing, playing chess, or painting, is yet another complex cognitive activity that can be studied by psychology. And there are indeed people who focus their work on what is called human factors in software development: moods, emotions, preferences, and their effects on the quality of devs’ work.

So what is software engineering to a psychologist? A complex skill that requires two different capabilities: creativity and analytical problem-solving. To be successful and write great code, programmers need to be able both to generate many good ideas and to get to the point—find the solution, or at least one that works.

So there we have it: Being creative and solving complex problems fast and for good is what will make you a great developer. But are those qualities stable over time? What may improve the results and what has the potential to damage them? Or, as one could ask, do happy cows give more milk? Or are angry programmers the best programmers?

As a self-taught developer I had to learn by watching tutorials and straight up coding. Watching tutorials can be deceptive. Yes, following through the tutorial for some implementation will help you get the work done, but a common mistake that we beginners can make (or at least that I made) is to just copy whatever the instructor is coding without understanding what the program actually does. Make sure you understand what’s happening, and if you don’t, go deeper and start reading and learning about that method or class that you wrote but have no idea what it actually does. When the time comes that you need to implement something similar, you will know how to do it, how it works, and now you will be able to explore other options and compare them to choose the one that makes your code better in every aspect.

Programming is no magic. It is a complex skill like any others. In theory, psychologists should have something to say about it. And… they do. I’ve gone through a couple of studies that try to deconstruct the magic of emotions and moods affecting coding performance and I’m ready to share the outcome.

“Progress is possible only if we train ourselves to think about programs without thinking of them as pieces of executable code.”

So does being happy make you better at coding or does coding make you happier?

The short and somewhat technical answer is:

It’s complicated, but there does seem to be some evidence that the more negative a person feels, the better their problem-solving performance is. Feeling bad, however, has a detrimental effect on productivity and motivation, while good emotions push you forward and make you slightly more creative. Way to go? Flow and more research.

As developers, it’s easy to withdraw into our own world. It’s often a reclusive profession, and without even trying, we can have very little interaction with others. But humans are social creatures. We get married and have kids, we go to church, the community center, or the gym. We do these things because when we interact with others, it makes our world better, and it makes us better.

As engineers, we live in a highly technical environment so we think that gives us a pass on virtues like love, compassion, and empathy. No such luck! We are humans, not computers, and just because we program them doesn’t mean we should think like them. Look for opportunities in your work to cultivate old fashioned values like love, compassion, humor, and loyalty.