My smile hides my tears.
My laugh hides my screams.
It’s been this way for days.
Things aren’t as they seem.
I always seem so happy.
With not a care in the world.
But you should know, sadly
Many things go untold.
Even in the crowd of people
I’m feeling so lonely,
It seems like everywhere is evil,
I’m falling in obscurity slowly.
I feel nothing,
I feel everything,
And that’s all in the same time,
And that’s how I feel it all the time.
I’m so tired of living,
I know I am nothing,
Who belong to no one,
Who doesn’t know how to have fun?
Here’s no place in the world for me,
And I even don’t know who I want to be,
No chasing for my future living,
I don’t have a thought about who I’m being.
I’m walking down at streets in the loneliness,
In awareness that I’m truly fucking mess,
Some people have a god bless,
But I’m cursed, I guess.
I’m wearing the eyeglasses and
the jacket with color of the darkest night,
The sky is middle of purple and blue,
It’s a little bit cold,
because the sun isn’t still bright as it might,
I try to think straight,
but I’m fucking crazy and have this clue.
Once again the sobbing of my heart,
drowns out thoughts of laughter.
And still the ache of loneliness tells,
there is no sign of what I am after.
Through ache of the soul and a pain,
deep in my damaged spirit’s broken core.
Everything I am and all of my being,
just longing for someone to adore.
There is someone for everyone,
I have heard people often say.
So why this dark lonely space,
my head can’t go away?
When you have love to give,
and there is no one there.
Until all your body can feel,
is darkness and empty despair.
How can you hang onto dreams,
or even make an effort to cope.
Abandoned by love and alone,
knowing each day there is no hope.
A pain so deep and this endless ache,
so much love to give it can’t be wrong.
Through hearts cry and souls pain,
Somehow I am meant to stay strong.